I am going to dedicate this blog post to bacon. Bacon is a truly American food, usually though not always taken from swine, is part of the quintissential American diet. It dates back millions of years, where cavemen, and other early single-celled organisms enjoyed the flavor and zest of the one and only bacon. Here we can see the pure, unadultered form of bacon:

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Unadultered.

This is bacon before frying. This is what we and billions others saw before slamming it down on a greasy black frying pan which then, after a few delightful minutes, the bacon then assumes the form of:

Delightful.

However, although many Americans as well as other people of other cultures have stopped and consumed the bacon at the “delightful” stage, in actuality, the chain does not have to end there. If the bacon is allowed to collaborate and develop further, they can continue, to produce stages such as “Epic”, “Frightening”, and “This-is-going-to-make-your-cholesterol-levels-equal-as-much-as-the-national-debt”. Several connoisseurs have over the years been experimenting with then eating several types of baconations (an amalgamation of the words bacon and creation), when they have came up with preposterous, and at times, downright dangerous conclusions. These hopefully edible pieces of pork have been engineered to appeal to the masses of slabs of lipid that populate America, and one such creation is the Bacon Lattice:

Enlightenment.

But recently, I have emerged with this nugget of bacon. The Bacon Explosion. A freak bacon. A bacon of gigantic proportions. I now present…

The Bacon Explosion.

Yes. The armored fortress-like tank of flesh is layer after layer of latticed bacon and hamburger meat, forming what looks like a fortified stronghold of beef and pork that was heavily grilled and battered in BBQ sauce. A meal for the gods no doubt. More or less because they are the only ones who cant die due to the cholesterol intake.

And if YOU ran out of bacon, and would like for insta-bacon, then simply follow these SIMPLE instructions:

Perhaps more on bacon to come in later posts….

i have just arrived from a grueling week at Beijing, and it feels pretty aiight to be back. Though don’t get me wrong, Beijing was srsly awesome. I went to Beijing with a suitcase, and some petty belongings, but I came back a national hero, an honored delegate, as well as with experience in the chinese language. I toured the usual touristy sights, the great wall, the olympic stadium and water cube, and of course the forbidden city and the tiamenen square. But they obscure chinese markets was where the fun was at. There were damn LIVE SCORPIONS ON SKEWERS! Now if anyone can man up to this challenge of eating every single on on the skewer I will honorably give up my dignity and manhood to the one. Also, there were fried scorpions, fried seahorses, and starfish burgers. I cannot even come close to understanding why anyone would buy this, much less eat it. China does hold many beauties and wonders in the world, but as far as the market foods, china is a crazy bold country that deserves a SLAP IN THE FACE FOR BEING SO IGNORANT OF RESTAURANT VENUES SUCH AS MICKEYD’S THAT ARE HIGHLY CAPABLE OF SERVING FOOD OVERWHELMINGLY TASTIER THAN AN IMPALED SCORPION ON A STICK.

Man up folks.