So many of you have heard of the SWINE PANDEMIC, and this thing is srsly geetting out of hand first we have people losing their mind, alienating Mexicans due to their status as influenza carriers:

Influenza Carriers….  hahahha…..

Alright im sorry for the lame korean 1999 joke, BUT in all seriousness, due to this outbreak, economy has been plunging, the WHO has been suddenly becoming second to none n terms of publicity, and basicaly we have the whole world paralyzed in fear to go outside due to the omniscient presence of the SWINE FLU o0o000o0oo~~. Seriously folks are we really going to let that get in our way?  Can these lovable creatures really be the cause for this epidemic that is ravaging our world?

Was it them?

No. we noe its not them.  We cannot get it from eating pig either. So that means bacon…. IS STILL OKAY!!!!! (CROWD ROARS IN AGREEMENT) YEAHHHHHHH! OKay so eating bacon, and other pork cuts are fine, then what about being around swine is that enough to make us go ape-feces? Not sure, but as long as we can eat it its fine, and though most of us don’t have to live in a pig sty (in the true literal sense) most of us are fine. Yes, we feel pity for those Mexicans and other 3rd world country people, but hey, influenza has killed hundreds of thousands always every year, and with a measly casualty count of under 200, pig influenza is like a pinch of beadcrumbs next to the largest subway sangwich. Until swine flu makes a tail come slinking out of ur backside… its really nothing to me hahahha

ALSO last point, swine flu isnt even swine flu any more. Scientists have called the new strand of virus a mixture of human, avian and swine flu. ITs like the ninja turtles of influenza. They are mortifying wheveer they go. But back to the point, thats just how it is. We lost the swine flu mania franchise. Boo hoo.

What does it mean to go too far? Does it mean to overdo a joke to such an extent that it is longer in the least bit funny? To such an extent that it in fact, in the pursuit of going too far, that it makes the joke crass and crude? Does going too far mean to make a strong strides and leap over the “line” that separates the sane form the insane, the evil from good? To venture into territory unexplored that no one has thought of going into, out of fear and ignorance? Does going too far describe the rocket NASA launched to reach the moon, but disintegrated into smithereens when it smashed into the unforgiving surface of the cold and bleak moon, due to a miscalculation made by NASA for the rocket to originally glide into the gravitational pull, which in turn cost NASA billions in wasted currency that is now residing as nothign more than space dust in the infinite stretches of the universe? Was this post the cybernetical equivalent of going too far? No. Going too far, put simply, is:

I am going to dedicate this blog post to bacon. Bacon is a truly American food, usually though not always taken from swine, is part of the quintissential American diet. It dates back millions of years, where cavemen, and other early single-celled organisms enjoyed the flavor and zest of the one and only bacon. Here we can see the pure, unadultered form of bacon:

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Unadultered.

This is bacon before frying. This is what we and billions others saw before slamming it down on a greasy black frying pan which then, after a few delightful minutes, the bacon then assumes the form of:

Delightful.

However, although many Americans as well as other people of other cultures have stopped and consumed the bacon at the “delightful” stage, in actuality, the chain does not have to end there. If the bacon is allowed to collaborate and develop further, they can continue, to produce stages such as “Epic”, “Frightening”, and “This-is-going-to-make-your-cholesterol-levels-equal-as-much-as-the-national-debt”. Several connoisseurs have over the years been experimenting with then eating several types of baconations (an amalgamation of the words bacon and creation), when they have came up with preposterous, and at times, downright dangerous conclusions. These hopefully edible pieces of pork have been engineered to appeal to the masses of slabs of lipid that populate America, and one such creation is the Bacon Lattice:

Enlightenment.

But recently, I have emerged with this nugget of bacon. The Bacon Explosion. A freak bacon. A bacon of gigantic proportions. I now present…

The Bacon Explosion.

Yes. The armored fortress-like tank of flesh is layer after layer of latticed bacon and hamburger meat, forming what looks like a fortified stronghold of beef and pork that was heavily grilled and battered in BBQ sauce. A meal for the gods no doubt. More or less because they are the only ones who cant die due to the cholesterol intake.

And if YOU ran out of bacon, and would like for insta-bacon, then simply follow these SIMPLE instructions:

Perhaps more on bacon to come in later posts….